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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28837755">Inconceivable</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapingArtist/pseuds/EscapingArtist'>EscapingArtist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bureaucracy, Consensual Infidelity, Divorce, Divorce Law, Endgame NottPott, Endgame Panville, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Infidelity, M/M, Molly's motives are suspect, Muggle CUstoms, No cheating, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Hogwarts, Pureblood Customs, Really everyone is ok with it, Ron steps up, The Princess Bride - Freeform, Weddings, endgame dramione - Freeform, just read it you'll see</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:48:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,209</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28837755</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapingArtist/pseuds/EscapingArtist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“What do you mean CAN’T” Hermione hissed. It was the tone that anyone who had known her more then two weeks knew meant PROCEED WITH CAUTION.</p><p>Ron swallowed the chips and took a slug of his beer “I mean just that Mione.” Her nose wrinkled at the detested nickname but she didn’t interrupt. “Divorice. It just. Doesn’t exist here.”</p><p>“You mean it's not done” she corrected.</p><p>“No” he said with a heavy sigh “I mean it literally doesn’t exist. There is nothing in the Wizengamot or the Ministry or anywhere that has proceedings for it.” Hermione sat back, crossing her arms and glaring mutinously at him.<br/>------------------------<br/>Between rushed decisions and forced contracts, Hermione and her friends have found themselves in marriages they don’t want. There is no way out, but when has that ever stopped Hermione Jean Granger?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Astoria Greengrass/Luna Lovegood, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Lavender Brown/Ron Weasley, Theodore Nott/Harry Potter, Theodore Nott/Pansy Parkinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>When you are in a slump and your alpha says "try writing something" well, you do. Thank you WordsmithMusings. I hope you enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“What do you mean CAN’T” Hermione hissed. It was the tone that anyone who had known her more then two weeks knew meant PROCEED WITH CAUTION.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ron swallowed the chips and took a slug of his beer “I mean just that Mione.” Her nose wrinkled at the detested nickname but she didn’t interrupt. “Divorce. It just. Doesn’t exist here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean it's not done” she corrected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No” he said with a heavy sigh “I mean it literally doesn’t exist. There is nothing in the Wizengamot or the Ministry or anywhere that has proceedings for it.” Hermione sat back, crossing her arms and glaring mutinously at him. Ron tentatively reached for another chip, doing his best not to make any sudden movements or chew too loud. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ronald” she finally said “Before I proceed. I just want to be clear. You do not want to be married to me anymore, correct?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The chip stopped halfway to his mouth and he looked at her pleadingly “Mione. I mean. I really care about you. And you are great. And.” She waved away his protests impatiently and he ran a hand through his hair “No.” he mumbled “I don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” she said firmly “Because I don’t want to be married to you either.” He winced and she rolled her eyes “You KNOW I love you.” Her hand strayed up to her neck, where a delicate constellation hung on a silver chain. “But I want to date Draco openly. Without whispers following us.” She raised an eyebrow at him “And I know Lavender wants that too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ron nodded morosely “She said she thought being the other woman would be kinda fun. You know” he added hastily “Because you knew about it and it was fine. But she wants a family Mione, with me.” He got a soft look on his face and Hermione squeezed his hand gently and smiled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dusting off her hands, Hermione stood up and nodded decisively. “Well” she said “That settles it. Since we can’t get divorced I guess we’ll just have to not be married in the first place.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She dropped a kiss on the top of Ron’s head and strode out of the pub, leaving him with a dazed expression.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>*****</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the war ended, there had been a heady rush of relief and joy. When that mixed with the lingering feeling that life might end at any moment it led to a lot of rash decisions. Most young couples had someone in their life to talk sense to them, but not Ron and Hermione. Mrs. Weasley had basically propelled them into the ritual circle. Whether she was just in love with love and eager for grandkids, or something more calculated, depended on who you talked to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then of course, there were the ones who’d had no choice. When Voldemort’s regime crumbled, many Pureblood families scrambled to form alliances and try to cement loyalties and fortunes. That was how Draco found himself at an incredibly awkward brunch where his father informed him that he was married to Astoria Greengrass (not engaged- not “will be married to”- already married). Astoria, who he had spoken to many six times during the years they overlapped at Hogwarts and who seemed to him impossibly young.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At least she had been quietly annoyed, and known he hadn’t wanted this either. Across town, Theo had barely dodged a vase thrown at him by Pansy and continued to duck away from hexes until he could convince her that he had nothing to do with any of this and for fuck’s sake Pansy he was gay or didn’t she remember?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The four of them moved in together, living more like roommates than spouses. Because, as Theo grimly remarked, if they didn’t consummate these so called unions then they might have a chance of getting out of them when their parents went to prison.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was a year ago. Signet rings were on both Theo and Draco’s fingers, men serving multiple life sentences cannot be Heads of Houses after all, but they hadn’t found a way out of the marriage contracts... yet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door to the flat banged open and a wobbling pile of books walked in. Draco heaved himself off the couch and began plucking books off the stack until Hermione’s face appeared. Her eyes were shining and her chin was tilted in a way that he knew meant they weren’t going to just shag and go to bed early.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oblivion and Memory Charms.” He read, looking at the book jackets in turn “ Never Start a Land War in Asia and Other Important Lessons, A History of Time Turner. A Treatise on the Integration of Muggle and Wizarding Customs from 1950 through the Present Day.” Resettling his glasses on his nose he gave her a bewildered half smile. “What is all this love?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Research” she announced triumphantly. She set the rest of the books down and shrugged off her coat. “By the way. Ginny, Harry and Neville are coming to dinner tomorrow. I checked with Pans and Astoria and they are free. Is Theo around?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco raised an eyebrow “Dinner?” he asked “This sounds more like a war council.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not both?” H</span>
  <span>ermione quipped lightly, propping her feet on the coffee table and opening the first of the books. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“If we are going to do this properly” Ginny declared “We are going to need a name.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A what?” Hermione spluttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A name” Ginny repeated, like she was talking to a small child “You know. Something that binds us together just as tightly as these marriage vows that threaten to strangle us.” She threw an arm across her forehead dramatically and sank onto the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t even married” Hermione reminded her and Harry and Ginny exchanged smug looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just because I happened to know that the Holyhead Harpies still had an archaic rule on the books about no married players AND a fiancé who was” she batted her eyelashes at Harry “SO understanding about our SITUATION.” He snorted and chucked a pillow at her “Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have some say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh” Theo interjected, snuggling in close to Harry who kissed his cheek affectionately. “I think that actually proves you shouldn’t have a say.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ginny pouted, but then brightened “But you and Harry were talking about names just the other day! After you got Hermione’s owl.” Hermione glared at Harry who had the decency to blush just slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right we did!” Theo smirked at Ginny “I think we had a couple of options. Hm. I really liked </span>
  <span> Restoring Autonomy of Knackered something that starts with E Spouses.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I really thought Society for the Liberation of Unwanted Trysts summed up what we are trying to accomplish perfectly” Ginny interjected. “But Harry, you really had the best one. What was it? Men And Women Hugely Opposed to Rushed Entanglements” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry chuckled, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck and not making eye contact with his best friend. Draco, Pansy and Astoria had the self preservation, and Pureblood training, to hold back their laughter and escape potential murder-by-incensed-Muggleborn. Neville, just knew better then to be noticed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're suggesting” Hermione said in an exasperated voice  “That we call ourselves SLUTs, RAKES or MANWHOREs?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo looked at Harry with an innocent expression  "is that what we're suggesting?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now that Hermione mentions it, yes," replies Harry with a cheeky grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco chuckled to himself as Hermione glared at Harry. "What you went around yelling SPEW at everyone 3rd year."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It was S.P.E.W. Harry and you know it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure," replies Harry, "and no one took it seriously cause it was still SPEW."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco could tell that Hermione was on the verge of yelling or crying, and he knew how important this was to her...to all of them really despite the jokes. He raised an eyebrow at Theo who nodded imperceptibly </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If it makes you feel better," interjected Theo, "Draco and i are long standing members of PMS."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione sputtered. "What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Preservation of Magical Society," replied Theo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Massaging the spot between her forehead that was starting to pound, Hermione allowed the smallest smile to cross her lips. "So ladies and gentlemen, are we SLUTs, RAKEs or MANWHOREs?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their friends had finally left, Draco set the nightly wards behind the last echoes of their laughter. He turned and saw Hermione sitting on the couch in a pool of light. Her shoulders were rigid and she was staring off, intent on some thought or idea. He sat down next to her and she flinched slightly, smiling apologetically he scooted away to give her space. “Stay” she said softly, catching his hand. He drew her toward him, twisting so they were laying together on the couch. Hermione closed her eyes and let herself sink into the staccato rhythm of his heartbeat. “I don’t think they actually care” she said softly, glad that she didn’t have to look him in the eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean. I think they are doing this to humor me.” She clarified “Or maybe because they like the idea of it working out, of proving to everyone that we aren’t their puppets to control anymore.” She paused, tracing her finger along the tattoos running down his arm. “But truly, does it matter to any of them? Would it make that much of a difference? They can keep on like this forever with no repercussions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It matters to you.” It was a statement, not a question, but Draco still paused, wanting her to fill in the gaps. He knew that she wanted fiercely to be out of her marriage. Not because she didn’t care dearly for Ron, and not because anyone in their circle was opposed to them being together. But for some other reason she’d yet to articulate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does” she acknowledged, lifting her head slightly so she could meet his eyes. There were tears trembling just on the edges, but she was stubbornly refusing to let them fall. Her lips parted, then she closed them again, but Draco just waited. “It matters so much” she finally said, the first tear streaking her cheek “I want. I want you to be my family.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco pulled her close, letting her cling to him and vowing on his magic that he would do whatever he could to make this happen for her. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A few days later, Draco came into the flat to see Ginny, Pansy and Astoria poring over a Muggle magazine. “Tell us again!” Ginny said with delight “So you walk down a hallway?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aisle” Hermione said with a laugh “You know, like, between all the chairs and stuff?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aren’t the bouquets just nargle magnets?” Astoria asked and Ginny and Hermione grinned knowingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Despite what Luna may be telling you,” Hermione said kindly, “No nargles have interrupted any Muggle weddings that I’ve seen.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pansy sat back “Fascinating” she said, in a tone that someone might use at a particularly intriguing museum exhibit. “It’s just so different. No wonder Muggle and wizarding culture are having such difficulty meshing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe if Muggle studies wasn’t an elective” Hermione muttered and Draco smiled at the familiar complaint. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello there” he said, grinning when Hermione jumped and guiltily tried to tuck the magazines out of sight. “What trouble are you all plotting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing” Hermione said brightly “They just had some questions so I, uh, brought research material.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was telling us about Muggle wedding customs.” Pansy said cooly, “They are almost completely different from Wizarding ones. Well” she clarified “Pureblood ones anyway. There are some things I would really like, would’ve really, liked to incorporate had I known.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’d actually gotten a wedding you mean.” Draco said grimly “Versus a document informing you of your change in status.” Pansy’s shoulders sagged slightly and she nodded. Draco bent down and hugged her gently and kissed the top of Hermione’s head. “Well, I don’t want to interrupt,” he said, heading for the kitchen. He paused at the door and looked at Hermione, watching her gesture dramatically about something in the magazine. There was a hint of an idea, just the start of one. He knew better then to try to force it, it was better to sit quietly and let it come to him. He grabbed an apple, tossing it to himself as he thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione peered at herself in the mirror, adding a few swipes of eyeshadow before setting the brushes and other bits down and closing her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco was leaning on the door frame and saw her inhale and exhale slowly. He could almost count along with her, the technique the therapist had shared to quiet a racing mind. Her eyes fluttered open and he held her gaze in the reflection. “You look lovely” he said, smiling as she blushed slightly “Everything ok?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just Sunday dinner with the inlaws” she quipped. Her light tone undercut by how forcefully she was sweeping the make-up into the bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought Ron was going to talk to them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. He was. He did. But ‘Mum’s eyes just filled with tears Mione. She said she couldn't bear not having all of her kids with her.” Hermione mimicked Ron’s voice to perfection. “I tried to get you out of it but Dad wouldn’t hear of it. Said it would upset Mum too much and that he insisted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco looked at her puzzled for a moment, then his eyebrows flew up. “He’s using his position as Head of House to force you...to come to dinner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep” Hermione dragged out the syllable, the ‘p’ at the end popping sharply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Officially? Because we are a family and we stick together. Unofficially, because I think they are hoping that if they wrap us up in this big cozy cocoon of familial affection it’ll fix whatever is wrong with our marriage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought they knew both of you wanted out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They do”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And they know best. This is how it was supposed to be. They took Harry and me in, especially after my parents…” she stopped and cleared her throat and Draco reached out to gently rub her arm. “We were already family. Marrying in just made it officially.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And isn’t bad for their reputation and vaults AND gives them legal and magical sway over you.” Draco muttered darkly “Honestly, it’s worse than my parents. At least they were upfront about the marriage being a business transaction.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione smiled sadly. Draco knew she wavered on how calculating the Weasley’s were or whether they were just blinded by the future they wanted to see. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it would help if Ron wasn’t a total pushover” Draco pointed out and Hermione just snorted “But, they have to know about Lavender. And me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh they do” Hermione sighed “I believe it was brushed off with something about adjustment periods and then also united fronts winning over poor choices?”  She crossed the bathroom and wrapped her arms around him. Breathing in the comforting smell that was him, her Draco. “I’m starting to think I should just give up.” she said finally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco’s hand, which had been stroking her back, stilled. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could hear the carefully flat tone and looked up to see his Occlumency walls slipping into place. “No you” she said insistently “Not us. Just, trying to get out of it. I mean. It’s pretty much the biggest open secret that all of our marriages are shams. I can just learn to live with it. I mean. I have a pretty amazing logical family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled at the phrase, remembering one of their first fights when he’d finally admitted how afraid he was of turning out like his father. “Biological family isn’t everything” she had hissed, jabbing her finger into his chest “We’ve created a damned fine logical family for ourselves, one that makes sense to me. So don’t try to slink away from it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed her gently and gave an encouraging smile, but didn’t trust himself to say anything. Sure, they could try to keep this up but could she ever truly be happy when she could be commanded to drop everything and go to dinner? When they had to keep two households and out of the public's eye. What if, what if she decided they weren’t worth it, he wasn’t worth it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He also had another fear that he kept locked carefully away. He’d seen the measures a family could take to bring an unwilling spouse into line. If Molly got tired of waiting, saw the chance for grandbabies slipping farther away, what was stopping her from giving Hermione a little “encouragement” through a potion or spell. He never brought it up, he knew Hermione still loved the Weasley matriarch too much to think she’d do that. But Draco didn’t trust so easily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione kissed him again and headed for the floo “I’ll probably stay at Ron and Harry’s tonight” she said “These always run so late and I don’t want to wake you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to argue, but her mouth was already pinched with stress. “Of course love.” was all he said “whatever you want. I'll have coffee waiting in the morning. Have fun storming the castle.” She smiled and left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the roar of the floo died down, he knelt and stuck his head into the flames. “Theo” he called out “We have work to do.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Pansy, Astoria and Theo were in the living room, watching Draco pace back and forth in front of the fireplace. “We are Purebloods from ancient families whose bread and butter was getting what they wanted.” He said “There must be a way out of this. There is a loophole somewhere because snakes like our families always leave an escape route.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo leaned forward on his elbows “Why the rush Draco?” he asked “You made it sound like there was an emergency. What happened to push this to the top now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco stopped and flung himself into a chair, staring up at the ceiling. “Hermione is at Sunday dinner with the Weasley’s” he said </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And?” Theo sounded puzzled “So is Harry. What’s your point?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She didn’t want to go. Ron asked his parents to excuse her. They refused.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Draco” Pansy sighed “Cut the dramatics. Just tell us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco sat up “Arthur compelled her to be there. He used his authority as Head of House to insist on her presence.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo stiffened “Fucking hell!” he spat “Harry too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Draco admitted “She didn’t say. Just that she wanted all the kids there one way or another.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Ginny isn’t there” Astoria pointed out “She’s with the Harpies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s her contract’ Theo said “Her contract to the team supersedes her duties to her House. Harry told me”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really!” Pansy sat up in surprise “You are saying that a Quidditch team is doing more to protect women’s autonomy then the entire wizarding justice system?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pretty much,” Theo agreed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hermione won’t believe me when I voice this kind of thing, she always laughs it off as being overly paranoid, but I don’t trust them. If they are willing to use their authority for something small and stupid like Sunday dinner.” Draco trailed off and the rest of them looked grave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not paranoid” Astoria said “Mum told me that it was a very real possibility I would be...compelled...in my wifely duties and that it was better to just go along with it. Would make things easier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco looked queasy “Tori, I would never.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know” she said gently “But it's the kind of thing every Pureblood girl is taught at some point.” She glanced at Pansy who nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Theo’s turn to jump up and start pacing. “Fucking hell. I will not let another generation have their lives ruined because someone else thinks they know better. We already saw what greater good and wizards first did. I’m not letting that happen even on this...small scale.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Plus” Pansy drawled “It would be nice to simplify these complicated living arrangements. I’m almost always with Neville, Tori is here with Draco and Hermione, you are with Harry, Ron’s with Lavender.” She shook her head “It’s getting a little ridiculous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Theo laughed and dropped back into his seat “Right you are Pans. I mean really let’s focus on the bigger picture here. How will we know where to stumble back drunk to if we don’t get this figured out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or where you left your toothbrush” Astoria quipped </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pansy drummed her fingers on the arm of the chair “I’m getting Neville. He was talking the other day about some documents his Gran had him going through.” The rest of them looked surprised and Pansy shrugged “It turns out that Augusta Longbottom is actually our number one fan.” She said “Could've knocked me over with a feather when she cornered me and said that she would do whatever it took to see me and her Nev end up together. No offense Theo” she offered and Theo waved it away with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“None taken. Call your handsome herbalist and let’s get some answers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pansy hurried over to the floo and Theo turned to Draco. “It’ll never work,” he said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nonsense” Draco said, with more bravado then he was feeling “You’re only saying that because no one has ever done it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Hermione stepped through the next morning she stood blinking for a few moments at the sight before her. Pansy and Neville were cuddled up on the enlarged sofa, with a mountain of papers stacked up beside them and Theo was snoring loudly from a pile of pillows on the floor.  Draco beckoned her from the kitchen door and passed her a steaming mug of coffee. “What happened here?” she asked, “It’s like the Ravenclaw dormitory before NEWTS.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“War Council” Draco said, with just a slight trace of a smile. “Astoria finally stumbled off to bed at 1:00 but the rest just passed out where they stood.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione sipped her coffee, looking over the rim at Draco “I’m going to need more than that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know love. But first, did you eat?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At Harry and Ron’s?” she snorted “What would I eat there, stale crisps and four day old takeaway?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you are going to eat first” Draco said firmly</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As you wish” Hermione said with exaggerated deference, but a small smile played on her lips as Draco fixed a plate for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was dinner ok?” Draco asked cautiously and Hermione just shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, nothing unusual. Just dinner.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No discussion about”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione cut him off “It was avoided like the name of Voldemort. But that’s fine. I wasn’t up for it.” Draco set a plate down for Hermione and pulled his chair closer to her, letting a hand rest gently on her thigh while she ate. “So” she said, after a few bites “Care to fill me in on what that is all about” she gestured with her fork at where the three friends were still sound asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco hesitated, fiddling with the napkin for a moment before leaning across the table and pulling a sheet of paper towards him. “Apparently we all have an unlikely ally in Augusta Longbottom” he said, smiling at Hermione’s raised eyebrows “I know, right? Well, that means that we have the benefit of the matriarch of an Ancient and Most Noble House and all her wisdom and experience with marriage contracts.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione’s hand trembled slightly and she carefully set down her cup “Draco” she said warningly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He squeezed her thigh “I’m not kidding” he said “Just, listen ok?” She nodded but looked tense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pansy, Theo, Astoria and I felt like there had to be a loophole. None of our families would have entered into anything without an escape route. But, we just couldn’t find it.” He put the paper in front of her and she scanned it rapidly. “Lady Longbottom found it. At least, we think she found it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Purity Protection Act” Hermione’s voice was incredulous and Draco smirked at the mounting outrage on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep reading” he encouraged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She huffed and read the paragraph he pointed out. “In any contract the customs and requirements of both parties must be stringently met. If either party or a member of their House upholds that they were not accurately represented then the union is void.” She put the paper down and looked at him in confusion. “I don't understand.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your wedding.” Draco said “It was a Wizarding affair right?” Hermione nodded and Draco cleared his throat “I, when you were talking with Pansy and Ginny and Astoria about Muggle weddings you looked wistful. Were there...things you wished you could have had?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah,” Hermione admitted “I mean, even without my Dad being able to give me away there were still other things that I would have wanted.” She paused and her mouth dropped open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco smiled in satisfaction “Now you got it.” He said “I know you would, my smart girl.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you saying” Hermione asked slowly “That I can claim that my customs...Muggle customs...weren’t met in the creation of our marriage and that our contract is void?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t see why not” Draco said “The language is broad, a general tactic of Pureblood families, so why can’t you read it that way?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione was skimming the rest of the document, her cheeks were flushed slightly and he knew she was trying not to hope too much. Suddenly she snorted “Ok, here’s some more vague language that might be our back-up. Something something something, expectation of coming to the union untouched, if not something something the party can choose to dissolve the contract.” She looked at Draco with a slightly smirk. “Lavender said she would do anything to help us so she could have her Won-Won. I bet she would attest to the Wizengamot that Ron was ANYTHING but untouched when we got married.” Draco pretended to gag and Hermione’s laugh ran out across the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neville stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes “Hey Mi” he said huskily “Good to see you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Neville” she said seriously “Does your Grandmother really think that this will work.” She waved the paper that Draco had handed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For you and Harry, yeah.” He said “I mean, no one has ever tried it with Muggles before but it doesn’t explicitly exclude it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But not for you all” Hermione said sadly, searching Draco’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No love, at least, not that we can think of.” Draco said, pulling her into his lap. “The contract was drawn up by both families, it would be hard for us to argue we weren’t represented.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except for the part where you didn’t agree to it.” Hermione said tartly. “You kind of skipped the part where you said “I do” after all.”  She stilled and Draco could see her brain whirling. She jumped off his lap and kissed him hard “Wait here.” she said “Don’t let anyone leave. I’m getting the others. We have a movie to watch.” She rushed out of the room and through the floo, leaving Neville and Draco to shrug at each other in confusion.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Text from the movie "The Princess Bride" is in italics. I don't own that any more then I own HP :) I was liberal with references throughout...how many can you find?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Twenty minutes later, Hermione was coming through the floo with a large black box under one arm. Behind her, Harry staggered in balancing the TV from their flat. He cursed slightly as he looked for a place to put it down. “Mi” he said “Do they even have electricity? And why are we doing this now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Harry James Potter” she said accusingly “Do you think I would have brought this over if I didn’t know I could use it.” He rolled his eyes and looked around, locating the outlet in the wall while Hermione fiddled with the VCR. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey gorgeous” Theo’s voice was raspy from sleep and Harry smiled, dropping onto the pillows next to him “What’s going on?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, Hermione tells me that you have solved our side of the marriage problem. Now she is convinced that she’s got an answer to your side.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Theo curled himself around Harry, “I’m all ears.” he said seriously “After last night, I thought I could just go on like this forever but.” his ears pinked slightly “I want to make you mine, officially.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Theodore Nott” came Pansy’s voice from the couch “Did you just propose to the love of your life and savior of the wizarding world without a shirt on from a pile of pillows in the middle of the living room?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry laughed and kissed Theo “It was perfect Theo. And yes, my answer is yes.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco caught Hermione’s eye and they both smiled. She stood up and dusted off her hands “There, ready. Everyone sit. I’d just skip the important part but frankly this movie is a cultural icon and even sheltered wizards like you all should see it.”  The friends laughed and jostled, finding a spot and settling in. Hermione dimmed the lights and clicked the remote. “Friends, may I introduce you to “The Princess Bride.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were all hooked, Hermione and Harry grinned at each other, they still loved seeing how involved in movies their Pureblood friends could get. As the end drew nearer, Hermione began to get fidgety. When Westley and Buttercup were reunited, after the wedding, she sat up and grew very still. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <b>Buttercup </b>
    <b>: </b>
    <span>Oh, Westley, will you ever forgive me?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <b>Westley </b>
    <b>: </b>
    <span>What hideous sin have you committed lately?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <b>Buttercup </b>
    <b>: </b>
    <span>I got married. I didn't want to - it all happened so fast.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <b>Westley </b>
    <b>: </b>
    <span>Never happened.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <b>Buttercup </b>
    <b>: </b>
    <span>What?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <b>Westley </b>
    <b>: </b>
    <span>Never happened.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <b>Buttercup </b>
    <b>: </b>
    <span>But it did! I was there; this old man said 'man and wife.'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <b>Westley </b>
    <b>: </b>
    <span>Did you say 'I do?'</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <b>Buttercup </b>
    <b>: </b>
    <span>Um, no... we sort of skipped that part.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    
    <b>Westley </b>
    <b>: </b>
    <span>Then you're not married. You didn't say it; you didn't do it.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She paused the show. “There” she said “That’s the answer.” The friends looked at her puzzled. She groaned in frustration. “None of you agreed. None of you said I do. None of you signed anything. None of you even consummated the marriage.” She gestured toward the TV “Your marriage didn’t happen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco looked between the TV and Hermione “I...don’t know if it works that way love.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not” she challenged</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because, it’s always been like this? The families draw up the contracts?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes” she acknowledged “But there is usually a wedding. There is usually a ceremony. Some time when the people in the contracts agree to it, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right” Astoria said, the faintest trace of hope in her voice “Even if it's a rushed thing, the betrothed usually sign the contract. But we didn’t.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Theo gripped Harry’s hand “It’s worth a shot” he whispered “I mean, truly, what do we have to lose?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Draco twirled the ring on his finger “And we are the Heads of our Houses now. Our father’s can’t contest it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And we certainly won’t put up a fight” Pansy said with a laugh “Right Astoria?” The blond laughed and nodded. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Besides” Harry quipped “We can always just show them that part in the movie and they’ll probably take it as precedent.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“OK” said Hermione slowly, then with more excitement “Ok! I think that we all have urgent appointments at the Department of Contracts and Records tomorrow.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will it work?” Astoria asked doubtfully</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’ll take a miracle” Theo said, pulling her into a hug, “But that isn’t so far fetched when you have a miracle worker like Granger.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was an odd group that made its way across the Atrium the next morning. Draco was holding Hermione’s hand, with a tightness that betrayed the mask of cool arrogance he was wearing. Theo had his arm looped through one of Harry’s and Ginny was holding the other. Neville had his arm around Pansy’s waist, like he was expecting one or both of them to bolt at any moment. Ron and Lavender were so entwined it was hard to see how they could still walk. Astoria brought up the rear, Luna whispering quietly to her as Astoria nervously held her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clerk in the Department of Contracts and Records looked up in surprise to see such a big crowd in his office so early. He put down his paper and straightened his tie “Ahem, hell, um, all.” he said, trying to remember his protocol of who he should address first and how. “How may I help you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco nodded at Hermione who stepped forward with a confident tilt to her chin “We are here to apply for marriage contracts” she said firmly “Three of them in total for Malfoy-Granger, Longbottom-Parkinson and Nott-Pott”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nott Pott” Draco drawled under his breath and Hermione elbowed him sharply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clerk opened and shut his mouth a few times. “Um, Mrs. W….” her glare cut him off “Ms. Granger. I’m sorry. But. You are already married. Um, all of these requested partnerships have a party who is already married.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No” Hermione responded simply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No?” the bewilderment on the clerk’s face made Draco almost feel bad for him...but it was damn amusing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” said Hermione again “The existing contracts aren’t valid. We’d like to dissolve those and request new ones.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clerk began to look a little sick. “I, I think I should get my manager,” he said thickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione gave him a kind smile. “I think that is a good idea. But, I also think you should let your manager know that they will probably want to call the Wizengamot into an emergency session. It’ll save time.” The clerk paled even more and fled the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well” Theo said mildly “This will be fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>True to Hermione’s prediction, the group soon found themselves in front of a confused and nervous group of Wizengamot members. The Chief Mugwump pulled her glasses onto her nose and skimmed through the notes, before letting them fall back to her chest. “Am I reading this correctly? You are claiming your current marriages are not valid because of the Purity Protection Act and precedent set by” she checked the notes again “The Princess Bride?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione nodded confidently “Yes your honor. I am happy to read the applicable parts of you’d like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking slightly dazed the Chief Mugwump motioned for her to continue. “Please do, the Purity Protection Act has not been brought before the court since...the 1800s. I believe we could all use a refresher.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco smiled encouragingly at Hermione who read the section about the union needing to honor both parties customs equally. “And your honor” she said calmly “None of my or Mr. Potter’s Muggle customs were included in the contract and union. Which very clearly violates what is put forward here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And” Lavender’s voice piped up from the back “Later on it says that they should be pure until the union and let me tell you.” She gave the shocked assembly a broad wink “That was not the case for this handsome wizard.” Ron blushed as Lavender snuggled into him smugly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed, covering it as best he could with a cough, while Hermione blinked a few times. “Uh, yes, so, that covers that your honor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can see your point for yourself and Mr. Potter, but surely you cannot think that the Greengrass-Malfoy and Parkinson-Nott contracts were anything but equitable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stepped forward, putting on his most charming “I saved wizarding kind because I’m just that wonderful” smile. “No your honor, which is why we would like to invoke the precedent set by THe Princess Bride.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know this Princess of which you speak” the Chief Mugwump said helplessly “Was she Pureblood? Muggle? Where can I get some background on her. Astoria and Pansy had rolled forward the VCR and TV on the cart, Hermione had managed to hook it up to a battery and was crossing her fingers that it would work. “With your permission” Harry said winningly “We will show you a….” he glanced at Theo who winked at him “memory that was captured in this Muggle device.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Chief Mugwump sat back heavily “This is all highly extraordinary” she said “But, go ahead.” Hermione nodded and pushed play, the screen flickered to life with the scene between Westley and Buttercup. When it had played through, she paused it again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your honor” Hermione began “When the contracts between Astoria and Draco and Pansy and Theo were drawn up, they were given no say in the matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not unusual among Purebloods” The Chief Mugwump reminded her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione inclined her head “True.” she agreed “But what is uncommon is that the betrothed never gave their consent. Not in writing, not in a ceremony, not in their behavior after the union.” Draco bit the inside of his cheek trying to keep from laughing at Hermione’s attempts to make “They didn’t have sex” appropriate for the courtroom. “They were told they were married, but they never said I do.” She took a steadying breath. “So, it didn’t happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Chief Mugwump’s eyes darted between the group in front of her. “Do any of the partners have any, ah, objection, to this line of reasoning?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They shook their heads and Ron spoke up for the first time. “Yer honor” he said “Mione’s great, she really is, but we aren’t meant to be together. It was rushed. It didn’t include her, ah, customs and requirements, and I.” He glanced at Lavender and said, “I belong with someone else.” Lavender swooned and batted her lashes at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright” the Chief Mugwump said, with a slightly bewildered tone “If you all would please take a seat in the ante-chamber we will….deliberate.” The group filed out and the door clanged behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione stood near the door, rubbing her hands together and wishing that she had one of Fred and George’s extendable ears. Draco came up behind her and started rubbing her back lightly “You did wonderful Granger” he said “It’ll be alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what if it's not” she fretted “What if they say no.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then they say no” he answered “But no doesn’t mean we stop.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She let her head fall back and her eyes fluttered closed as she let herself be soothed by him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY” the shriek echoed down the hall and Ron paled under his freckles as his mother stormed through the assembled gathering “GINEVRA MOLLY WEASLEY. THIS IS INCONCEIVABLE HOW COULD YOU DISGRACE THE FAMILY THIS WAY. YOUR FATHER IS BESIDE HIMSELF. I DEMAND YOU STOP THIS RIDICULOUS CHARADE AT ONCE.”  She glared at the group and then her eyes landed on Hermione “You! This is your idea isn’t it! Well, we won’t stand for it. Not a chance missy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Draco bristled but before he could say anything, Ron stepped between Hermione and Molly. “Mum,” he said firmly, “I told you. Hermione and I agreed on this. It is what we both want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are just saying that” Molly said hysterically “You have always loved her. This will work out. You need to give it time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No Mum” Ron said, Hermione’s eyes flew wide at the steel in his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your Father. I’ll have him. He’ll.” Molly gestured wildly and Draco pulled Hermione closer, wishing there was something he could do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad will NOT interfere in this,” Ron said sharply “I am her husband and I forbid him to meddle in our personal affairs. If he tries, I’ll go to the court and bring him up for overstepping his authority and superseding the rights of a man and his wife. It is my will” his mouth twitched in a smile “That my wife get both of us out of this marriage. That’s final.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Behind him, Theo and Harry started a slow clap that was soon taken up by Ginny. Molly was still standing there, grasping for words when the doors opened and they were beckoned back into the courtroom. Behind them the door shut on Molly’s face, still purple with rage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Chief Mugwump sat up and smiled at the group. “I’ll admit” she said “When I came into work this morning I did not expect to be handed quite this thorny of a riddle.” she shuffled the papers in her hand “We have reviewed the evidence that you presented and there has been some...spirited debate.” She glanced over at one member whose ears were still slightly smoking and her lips quirked. “What you presented, combined with the unanimous will of all parties involved. Well, we have no choice but to grant your request. Congratulations, none of you are married.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pansy gave a little cry and leaped into Neville’s arms. Her shoulders were shaking but they knew better then to even hint that she might be crying, that was risking a hex. Theo just gripped Harry’s arm tightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That being said” the Chief continued severely “I am denying your request for a new marriage certificate.” Hermione opened her mouth to argue but the Chief gestured for her to stay quiet “Not indefinitely” she assured them “Just for a period of 3 months, at which point you can reapply. I want to make sure you are doing this because you WANT to this time, not because you felt it was your only way out of your other choices.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione seemed like she didn’t know what to say so Draco put a comforting hand on her back and spoke up. “Thank you, your Honor” he said “We are very grateful for the wisdom of the assembled body.” He glanced down at Hermione who was still trembling slightly “Might I add that, as Lord of House Malfoy I would like to bring legislation to the next full assembly that would pave the way for less...drastic measures to dissolve unwanted unions. Surely there must be a way that we can still respect our traditions but also allow for times when a decision is not right for either or both parties.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione gave him a dazzling smile and gripped his hand a little tighter. It was something they had talked about, how even if they figured a way out it wasn’t something that was available to the average witch or wizard. But, she didn’t think it was something they would be able to do anything about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Noted Lord Malfoy” the Chief Mugwump said drily “I will make sure to bring an extra flask of firewhiskey to the meeting as I’m sure it will be long and contentious.” Draco smiled and Harry gave a snort of laughter behind them. “If there is nothing else?” she looked around and nodded “Very well, this case is closed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They turned to leave and Astoria touched Draco’s arm, dropping her ring into his hand. She smiled at him “I’m not sorry it was you” she said simply “Thank you.” Draco kissed her forehead and Hermione squeezed her arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Behind them Pansy lobbed her ring in an arc towards Theo “Catch!” she called gleefully and pulled Neville into the hallway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of them laughed and trickled out of the courtroom, thankfully Molly was nowhere in sight. Hermione sighed contentedly, glad to see how light and happy her friends all seemed now. Draco squeezed her arm “You did it love.” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We did it.” she reminded him “It wouldn’t have happened without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s what family does” Draco said, smiling and cupping her cheek “They look out for each other.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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